It’s another spoonful episode, hot hot hot from Laraddijis pot of life. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. If you’re watching Laraddiji for the first time, you’re most specially welcome, and if you know Laraddiji already, thank you for coming back, Today’s episode is all about pregnancy and privacy, were focusing on the privacy issues women face especially those in the workforce. Mine is that of the healthcare field working as a nurse, and taking care of the public and because your belly is in everybody’s face, people and patients feel they have a say in your protruding belly. You’re probably wondering what this topic has to do with Living in Peace, well, I was just thinking one day, what if someone asked a pregnant lady the wrong question? Or what if people told them the wrong thing? That would not yield a peaceful ending at all. Imagine asking a thick lady how far along she is or when she’s due or calling an actual pregnant lady fat… those would not yield positive results at all. I’m sure you’ve heard of situations like this before or experienced one or maybe you’ve been a culprit yourself. Let us know in the comment section below of your experiences and how we could change these situations for the better. In this section, I usually talk about 5 points regarding the topic so here we go.
When do you announce?
Do you announce when you’re 3 months gone or when you start showing? Or not at all? And how should you even do it if at all? Being from a country that has very strong cultural believes, I’ve said it before on my channel, I’ll link that video after this one, announcing a pregnancy is something we don’t do mostly because of unforeseen reasons. Announcing is a no no, even if you’re visibly very pregnant. However I’m seeing that things are changing slowly and I mean very slowly about our cultural views on certain topics. Pregnancy included. Now my experience with my pregnancies is that with my first, my lips were sealed, it was hard, especially because most of the questions came from work, I’m an employee for the public, I don’t have my own business or anything and I’m not in a private space so lots of people at work, my coworkers and my patients therefore ask a lot of questions. I don’t want to say people are nosey but I just think over here people see pregnancy as a joyful thing which it’s supposed to be, you know the creation of life and you can almost see the joy in peoples’ eyes when they see that you’re pregnant and showing. However back home, people just mind their business about things of that nature, most especially situations surrounding the issues of health and if you even make mention of the pregnancy and anything negative happens to it, one might be held accountable. With my second and third I tried to hide it and deny for the longest time to avoid the conversation until I couldn’t anymore. I usually do not announce until people can see for themselves that I’m visibly pregnant. Pregnancy is something you cant hide even though it’s a very private aspect of a woman’s life and that of her family’ which leads us to the next set of questions.
When are you due?
I feel like over here, some people ask just for the fun of it because they’ve experienced it or their family members have experienced it, sisters, moms, aunties, and want to see if there are similarities or differences from their experiences. Others ask to see how far along you are and how long more you’ll be working. And I feel others ask for genuine reasons of planning a surprise shower for you if they like you like you so they’ll need to know the date you’re due or they might even want to surprise you with gifts and so on so that they can be a part of this life you’re creating before baby is born. Culturally, I won’t say Africans in general because I don’t know what the other 55 or so countries do on the continent but the Yoruba tribe of my country Nigeria usually don’t do baby showers, that is something I leant of here, so if you’re not doing baby shower or celebrating with the pregnant lady or surprising her or the couple with gifts before she gives birth, there’s no reason to ask for the due date right? Right. Culturally, we wait until the birth of the baby to celebrate.
Do you know what you’re having?
There are only two options right? From the beginning of time, that will never change, either a boy or a girl, unless science takes us on another road with that one, we already have grandmas giving birth to their grandchildren for couples that are not even traditional, but why do people really ask this question? really? Is it for comparison? Maybe its just to make Conversation? Chit-chat? Gossip? Or maybe to share experiences? I like to think that its for the latter. You know, like this, my daughter or my sister is pregnant as well and she’s having a boy, and its her first or her fourth, she was really hoping for a girl but we’ll be glad to have a healthy baby. That brings joy to peoples heart I want to hope. Sometimes, people want to know how you feel about what you’re having and how you’re coping, are you happy or not happy if it’s a boy or girl? God is the ultimate designer for us people that have regular jobs and pay bills, but science makes it a little bit easier for the rich people to kind of choose if they want singleton, twins, triplets, boy, girl, boy boy girl, girl girl boy and so on. However sometimes our wishes don’t come true as to what we want but just know that, God has the ultimate reason why he gave you that extra girl or boy, love them, and cherish them. I kind of wanted a girl on the DL to kind of even out the scales in my family, but God knew in my deepest heart I needed a boy and he gave me and my family another handsome young man with a personality I just know will benefit many.
Is this your first kid?
I sometimes feel like people, well in this case my patients get disappointed when I tell them its not my first kid. You can almost hear the ohhh. And then the follow up question, almost calculated, so, how many do you have? Why does that really matter I always wonder, do you ever wonder too? I have three at home I’ll tell them, I need to learn the art of deflecting and believe me I’ve tried my best to lie, sometimes to avoid the conversation and other times to focus on the matter at hand which could be asking admission questions or trying to get information to take care of them better but I’m not very good at it and I just think also that it’s a good distraction for them from the heart attack there having or that sick feeling they’re having, it definitely helps bring a smile on their faces when they’re talking about something else. It’s almost like now they’re feeling like wow, that’s a lot, and boom, from the look of disappointment to pity like they kinda feel bad for you, meanwhile I feel bad for them that they’re even in the hospital in the first place.
Who’s going to watch them? Baby sitter, family or spouse?
I usually say, my husband and I usually work it out with the support of our parents. I remember I told my 4yr old twins I couldn’t bathe them anymore and that daddy will do it when my belly was really big. So anytime they’re ready for their showers, they’ll go to their dad and say, mummy’s belly is too big, she’s going to hurt herself, you need to give us a bath and daddy would help out. I remember when the twins were born, I believe that was the year up to 3-4 babysitters were sent to jail for either drugging babies they cared for or maltreated the kids in their care, that was an eye opener for us as parents to do the best we could by ourselves without third parties in our kids lives until the kids were able to walk and talk. At this point with a 17 month old, a newborn coming soon and 4 and a half year old twins, we’re ready to figure out a better way to watch the kids while we work. Our best bet so far is to have someone watch them in the day time in our house while the twins are in school with cameras installed everywhere of course while checking in frequently.
Alright, so that concludes the questions for this episode. The last thing I’ll say is this. Everyone has an opinion and unfortunately when it comes to pregnancy and baking babies sorry making babies, unsolicited ones will come.. give a fake laugh or something and move along, that’s what I did for my kids. People will tell you, your tummy it’s too big, it’s too small, when will you stop working, when’s your due date? You’re ready to pop, you’re all belly… Trust me, the battle is not even worth it, how many will you fight in a day… you’ll learn that even your well wishers will say some cringeworthy stuff at times that they don’t really mean, or maybe they do… You just patiently wait and enjoy your baby when he/she comes… that’s what I’m looking forward to now regardless of how tired I am of working, regardless of my waddles, regardless of the comments, I’m too tired to give those comments the light of day… and at the end of the day, you’ll be back to your regular self hopefully soon and don’t worry, there’ll still be more comments… ha ha ha them and move on with your life. This mouth was made for talking, that’s just what it’ll do, one of these days, this mouth is gonna talk all about you. The comments and rudeness will not end until judgement day.
That’s all for now you guys, thank you very much for staying with me till the end. Living in Peace is the main section of my channel so do check out the other sections. You can also follow me on Instagram @Laraddiji and subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don’t miss the many more sizzling topics to come. I’m a lover of peace and I love talking about situations we might find ourselves in that need peaceful endings. Let’s stop giving ourselves high blood pressure for no reason as we live our lives. God willing, we are on this earth for an average of 75-80yrs. Let’s not waste any of that precious time on matters that don’t help us positively in some way. You have a decision to make, if not now, maybe later, the ball of patience is in your court. Ask questions if you have any, don’t hesitate to leave a comment as well. Hoping to read from you awesome people very soon. Like this video by giving it a thumbs up so that I can make more of these videos and also to get notified of newly posted videos, why wait, hover on the hearts to the right lower corner and subscribe, why wait, its free and make sure your notification bell is activated. Check out my suggested videos at the end of this one. Please, let’s love our neighbors as ourselves and remember, to Rest.In.Peace, we all need to be Living.In.Peace, Stay blessed. You’ll see me in my next one. Bye bye.