I’m Still Here

the waiting, the disappointments, the jobs, the driving, the disappointments, the journeys, the weathers, the sermons, the sicknesses, the accusations, the quarrels, the issues,

the problems, the bills, the tickets, the deadlines, the checkups, the applications, the shopping, the spending, the shows, the dreams, the nightmares, the movies,

the people,  the diseases, the illnesses, the medications, the outfits, the meals, the candies, the commercials, the relationships, the lies, the pains, the cries but I’M STILL HERE.

The year 2009 and 2010 presented a lot of challenges, however, despite all what has happened, I’m still here. The days roll by, and all that happens, does for a reason, although we might not know them consciously, unconsciously, they make the world go round. You’ll see my theory in the movie “The Adjustment Bureau”. When it’s time for something to happen, it will happen regardless of what you do, it’s called fate. When it’s time to cry, cry; when it’s time to laugh, laugh.; just pray to God that the time you spend crying will not be more than your laughing times.

We tend to forget the reasons why we’re here among the living, we tend to forget how lucky we are to be healthy, we tend to forget how much we’ve conquered, and we tend to forget the grace of God over our lives. Some are out there with no limbs, some out there no homes, some no food, and no money to pay bills. The days after the snowstorm, when my car was stuck in the snow and I had to take public transport, it took me forever to get home but at one point I cried. I cried because I thought about the people walking by, that had no cars and all they did was walk to their destinations.

The tears just flowed, here I was crying, because I was cold, tired, hungry, frustrated and sleepy, and all I could do was laugh at myself. There were people out there shoveling snow getting colder and wet and all I could do was cry? I was surprised, then I thought about others who were less privileged, no car, no homes, the cold, and I stopped crying and pulled myself up. The whole year of 2010 had been a roller coaster of emotions and feelings, and in Dec, I guess I lost it, just like in Dec 2009. But I’m still here.

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